


Fighting

by hear_her_speak



Series: 14 Days of Dragon Age Lovers [6]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II
Genre: Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-06
Updated: 2020-02-06
Packaged: 2021-02-28 05:28:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22588693
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hear_her_speak/pseuds/hear_her_speak
Summary: Garrett has been with Anders for years, now, and yet he feels like he barely knows him anymore.  When Anders comes home late again without telling Garrett where he's been, an argument ensues.This is an exploration of the toxic relationship my version of Hawke developed with Anders.
Relationships: Anders/Male Hawke
Series: 14 Days of Dragon Age Lovers [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1622023
Kudos: 7





	Fighting

**Author's Note:**

> I’d like to start this piece off with an explanation and a caveat. This is a DA Lovers piece, but it is not meant to be romantic. This should not leave you feeling good. It is not fluffy at all. And, underneath it all, it is extremely Anders critical. 
> 
> I romanced Anders on my first playthrough of Dragon Age 2. I fell hard for him. I played as Garrett, and my emotions were invested so deeply into the romance that I was completely blindsided by the ending. And it HURT. Maybe even more so with Solas. The thing with Solas is, and maybe I’m just missing something, but I genuinely think Solas is a good person. I think he wants to do whats right, even if the cost is high. With Anders, though, when I went back and listened to the things he says and does, it’s so manipulative. It left me feeling really gross and even more hurt. I wasn’t planning on writing for this pairing, but, for whatever reason, I couldn’t quite get this scene out of my head. 
> 
> This is in no way meant to judge people who like Anders. Each and every one of you is a critical thinker, and you can make your own decisions about these characters. We love them because they are flawed, because they feel real. And, just like real people, sometimes they let us down in a way that we just can’t forgive. 
> 
> So, anyways, without further ado, here’s an argument between Anders and Garrett.

The year was 9:37 Dragon. So, six years, then. Six years since Anders had moved into Garrett’s High Town estate. Six years that they had been together as a couple. Six years. Six years! Garrett had poured his heart and soul into their relationship. He’d invited Anders in, worked to keep him safe, worked to build a life together. And for what?  
It was three in the morning, and for the third night in a row, Anders wasn’t home yet. Garrett understood his work was important, but they’d made a deal. Anders was supposed to at least swing by and tell Garrett if he was going to be gone that night. It was a favor Garrett had begged for after a close run in with the Templars. He’d lost so much already, and the idea of losing Anders plagued him. He never would have dreamed of stopping Ander’s work. He believed in it. He’d spent hours helping Anders edit his manifesto because he believed in Anders’ cause. He just wanted to know Anders was safe.  
And yet, three nights in a row, Anders stayed out all night, and then came home without explanation or apology. Garrett was no fool. He was losing him.  
Garrett sat on the edge of bed, facing the door. His legs were locked in front of him to hold him in place, and his palms rested behind him on the burgundy fabric of his bed spread. He was trying to maintain an air of calm about him, but the more he thought of what Anders was doing, the more he saw red behind his eyes.   
He waited another hour before he heard the quiet footsteps approaching his door. He stayed exactly where he was as the door creaked open and Anders waltzed in without so much as a look up in Hawke’s direction.  
“You’re awfully late tonight,” said Hawke dryly.  
Anders threw his hands up. “Unbelievable.”  
“Unbelievable!” Hawke bellowed, “I’m unbelievable!”  
“You always do this,” said Anders.  
Garrett stood. “We had a deal, Anders. You were supposed to check in.”  
“There wasn’t time!” he said, “What I had to do was important! You know how important my work is to me!”  
“It’s important to me, too!” Hawke said, standing, “But so is your safety! Is it so much to ask that you let me know if you’re going to be out all night?”  
Anders rolled his eyes. “It’s not that simple.”  
“Why not?”  
Anders looked away, shaking his head indignantly. Garrett began to wonder if he had perhaps been too harsh. He always wondered that. He could never hold his ground against Anders. He loved him too much.  
He tried again, gentler this time. “I’m just trying to understand, Anders. I love you. And if anything happened to you, I’d-” He didn’t try to finish the thought. He’d spent so much time dwelling on death. He dreamed of his mother most nights. When it wasn’t her, it was Bethany as she was torn to pieces by that Ogre. He rarely dreamed of Charlotte, the second oldest Hawke child. He hadn’t been there at Ostagar. He hadn’t seen. Carver had, though. He didn’t like to talk about it.   
All of his fears about death only amplified his worries for Anders. If he could just make Anders understand-  
Anders looked at him with tired, remorseful eyes. “I know, love.” He sighed, looking at his feet. Hawke noticed the teardrops that fell all the way to his boots. “I never meant to hurt you.”  
“No,” said Garrett, rushing to his side, “It’s alright, Anders. I’m sorry. I overreacted. Your work is important. I know that. I shouldn’t have gotten so cross.”  
“No, you have every right. I’ve been horrible to you. I’d understand if you wanted to me leave. I don’t deserve your love.”  
“You do!” cried Garrett. “Don’t say that!” He wrapped his arms around Anders. He couldn’t believe how foolish he’d been. He wasn’t losing Anders. Anders was just stressed. That was all. Surely.  
As if he had read Hawke’s mind, Anders pulled away, his face hardened into an expression of utmost seriousness. “I’m going to be trying something, and I thought you’d want to be part of it. But I needed to figure some things out, first. It’s why I’ve been out so late. We’ve both been wrong. What I did with Justice was unnatural. It should never have happened.”  
Garrett cupped Anders’ cheeks and stroked them with his thumbs. “You’re getting him under control. I’ve seen it.”  
Ander shook his head. “I can’t help mages like this. Not while I’m everything the Templars fear about magic. I need to be free of this curse.”  
Garrett wasn’t sure he liked where this was going, but he had committed to himself to stand by Anders’ side, no matter what. “You know I’ll do anything I can.”  
“Your patience with me! I marvel every day that you haven’t thrown up your hands and left. I’ve spent the last three years researching the methods of Tevinter Magisters. They’re the only ones who have ever sought to reverse spirit possession. Not just behead the victims. I believe I have a formula for a potion that can separate Justice and me, without killing either.”  
It sounded too good to be true. Hawke was wary of a catch. “Is it dangerous?”  
“There are always dangers with magic. But I believe this will be worth the cost.”  
Garrett slid his right hand to the nape of Anders’ neck and gave his hair a gentle tug. “I don’t want to lose you, Anders. But I want you to be happy. If this is what you want, I’ll do whatever I can to help.”  
“I knew you’d stand behind me in this. Even if-“  
“What?”  
“Nothing. I’ve gathered most of what I need, but there are some outlandish ingredients I was hoping you’d help me collect.”  
Anders explained exactly what he needed and where to get the ingredients. Hawke pressed him further, asking what else the ritual might entail.   
“No ritual,” Anders said, “just mix the ingredients and boom. Justice and I are free.”  
That was all the assurance Garrett needed. He made plans to meet Anders the following night by the entrance to the sewer in Dark Town. They would look for the ingredient Sela Petrae, there, along with the help of their other friends. Anders was wary, but Hawke was insistent. Varric, Fenris, and Aveline would happily help. Out of all his friends, they were the ones he was closest with. Whatever Hawke needed, they’d be there, no matter the cost. And, the more help they got, the quicker Anders could get his work under way. The sooner things could get back to normal between them.  
He and Anders slept together for the first time that night in weeks. When they had finished, Hawke slept like a baby. He would not lose his love, afterall. Everything Anders had done, all the secrets, the lies, the coming home late, it had all been for Hawke. He could rest at last, safe in his love’s arms.


End file.
